Even if this isn't an airtight theory, I have to go with it for one important reason: the simpering moron stereotype of past generations is vastly insulting to women. It seems to assume that being wealthy and protected makes us stupid, or that we won't want our rights if we're offered comfort instead. I can buy Buffy thinking like this when she's a modern middle-class teenager proud of her own courage, but I don't want it written into the story. We can't know much about the women of the ruling class two hundred years ago, but I believe there was a lot going on beneath the perfectly coiffed hair. Dismissing the victims of societal patriarchy as swooning bimbos is enormously unfair. 

That said, it throws me into some confusion to consider Cordelia in the same context. She's the modern swooning bimbo, spoiled and sexy, but in this episode she's written respectfully and actually handles her part in the crisis quite admirably. What do we take from this, aside from the too-vague-to-matter message of "be yourself"? Is Cordelia actually not accustomed to being protected? Is she not affected by the same weakness as Buffy because she's free? Or is the only comparison between Buffy and Cordelia their different methods of attracting men, so the only relevant message is that Buffy's works?

The Buffy and Angel Show: Then there's Angel, who actually coins the phrase "simpering morons." You know you're attached to a character when he says something completely objectionable and you just find it fascinating. It's not the first time, either - back in "Angel" he calls his poor Romani victim "dumb as a post" and never explains it. I've always wondered why he isn't called out more often for these moments, but I guess nobody puts much attention on his early days when there's so much that comes later. I'm sure his personality and history hadn't been fully worked out yet, so some of this could be random, or more likely, he's just saying exactly what Buffy's ideal boyfriend would say. She wants someone who loves her exactly as she is, so he derides everything she isn't. 

Later we'll find out that Angel was a womanizing drunk in his human days. It's uncomfortable to think that he hated the girls back then and slept with them all anyway, but there's also an insight somewhere in that. Maybe he just hated everyone. Maybe he deliberately went for the girls he couldn't respect, knowing he didn't deserve one he could. Were they really dull? I doubt it, but the interesting ones didn't give him a second glance. Until Darla, of course. A noblewoman. The kind he especially hated. Heck, she might have been the first one he ever met - he'd hate her automatically anyway, because you know how guys like him feel about women who are clearly out of their league. What to do with a beautiful stranger, all that rage, all that lust? Try to seduce her, of course. 

Well, that'll learn ya. But we don't know any of this during "Halloween" - he's just being a dick, and Buffy's loving it. Okay, her I can't blame too much; all she knows is that she just embarrassed herself with assumptions about what her boyfriend wanted, and now he's giving her the green light to relax and be confident in what they have. And I'm sure that's behind Angel's own motivations, too - he's trying to reassure her with the truth, but the nature of this truth means he has to stop before it goes into detail. Still, of all the accusations Angel gets for his moral choices, this is one that I think has been largely ignored: he doesn't always respect the memory of his victims.

That's one big reason that this isn't one of my favorite B/A shippy episodes. The other one is kind of contradictory: it doesn't have all that much to do with Angel. A good test of romantic scenes is to look at the dialogue without the character names. If it's a compelling romance, you'll still know it's these two people talking to each other about each other. "Halloween" is big on Buffy and her feelings, but they're fairly generic feelings and it's a fairly generic story, and Angel could be anyone at all. His only identifying factor is that he comes from the past and likes Buffy better when she's being herself (and to that, duh). So this time we really need to zero in on his insensitivity just to make him interesting.

Cordelia and Boyfriends: Does she break up with Devon by the next episode? We'll check on that. I kind of wanted them to date longer, though. See, they're a great couple, because he doesn't die or try to kill her.

I think I could go on for a while about the extension of the Cordelia vs. Willow theme from "Inca Mummy Girl", but I'm not sure what's been added to it this time, except for what I already said about Cordelia vs. Buffy. It's funny to see Cordy and Buffy competing over Angel at this stage, not only because fandom turns them into a love triangle in a few years, but because Cordy is so hopelessly outmatched. She finds a guy who really is worth fighting for and doesn't know what to do with him, because her usual strategy only works on rich losers. 

Xander and Bus Stations: I really like how subtly Cordy and Xander's relationship progresses here. She appreciates him in soldier mode, and I think he must find some relief after the fact that she was there as herself to go through it with him. Plus, that cute conversation about how hard it is to get between Buffy and Angel. Season 2 love square for the win!

My Willow Tree: Willow rocks in this episode, but I don't really have much else to say about her except that her costume was my favorite. It was just such a clever way to have her in both the ghost costume and the sexy one - the ghost is the one that takes effect, but the sheet itself just stays with the body, so she's a ghost of what exactly. And she knows how well she did throughout the night, so she feels fine about catching eyes in public. 

I'd wag a finger at Oz if that outfit was the only reason he noticed her, but since it comes after the Eskimo and the ghost, I just love him more. "Who is that girl?" is really the only sensible thing he can say at this point. Don't just decide what you think about the woman - inquire. Find out. Who is she?

Giles and Objects: Considering that this is a huge turning point for his character and I love it and I love him, I'm not really sure what there is to talk about. He's got mysteries. We'll hear more about most of them. ​

Now for some shooting script quotes... 

          Buffy is about to touch it when ETHAN RAYNE, the shop owner, approaches. He has a devilish glint in his eye and                 speaks with just a hint of a British accent.

Character introduction! I have no particular feelings about Ethan Rayne, except insofar as he affects Giles. Question, though. Just a hint? I don't know if that's what he was going for, but not a lot of people can pull off a slight accent of any kind - it's either there or it isn't. 

          Willow arrives at a dead (I'm so funny) run.

Yes, you are. 
​
           They BOLT, but Buffy is having trouble keeping up. Angel SWEEPS her into his arms, carries her. 

           ON BUFFY 

           Afraid - but giving into his protection.

Whatever else I've said about Buffy and Angel and simpering women in this episode...yeah. Achilles' heel. Right there. 

          We move through the crowd until we land on ANGEL, sitting at a table alone. Looking a little bored, impatient. A                  voice snaps him out of his brooding.

Missed this one on my first look - I only mention it because I'm doing a casual brood-count. So far, the word has only been applied to other characters; now we see it describing Angel, but only in the shooting script. Stay tuned! 

          There is a detailed DRAWING of a beautiful woman with long, dark hair. She wears a flowing 18th century gown.

I want to laugh about how Buffy says the illustration doesn't say what the woman's name is, and it totally does, but I lost my screencap. We can still laugh, though. Seriously, I can't even begin to fanwank this one. Buffy and Willow became temporarily illiterate? 

Notes:

• Oh, the other thing that sparked my interest in the shooting script was that it was specified that the woman has long dark hair. Anything to do with Drusilla, you think? 
• Willow and Buffy conning Giles to sneak into his office are just about the cutest thing.
• "Hello, Ripper."
• We never hear why vampires eschew Halloween. Theories?
• Buffy has this one fantastically sweet and adorable mannerism wherein she puts her face against her male friend's shoulder and gazes up at him with an innocent smile. I don't know if this was a directing choice or something SMG made up herself, but it's a fairly bold thing to do with a character whose whole purpose is to defeat the flirty female archetype, and I love it. 

          INT. LIBRARY - DAY - GILES IS UPSET

That was cute. 

          BUFFY 
          Or what it's like to exterminate vampires 
          while you're having fuzzy feelings 
          towards one. 

          GILES 
          You're still-? That is dicey.

Wish they had kept this; I'm always interested in what Giles thinks about B/A, pre-Surprise. I like it that Buffy so openly admits it to him, even though she must know he'll think it's dicey, and I like it that he's honest about his reaction but doesn't scold her, even though he's in the middle of a more general scolding. 

           She moves to the car. The dark window rolls down revealing RICHARD (the twenty year old sadist from the teaser)                in expensive slacks and sport coat. As are the other two DELTA ZETAS in back. 

          In the passenger seat is TOM, also 20, but dressed casually. Tom is rich, too, but he's not a prick, he's a low key,                    decent guy.

Because I always bring you the character introductions. 

          BUFFY 
          I don't really want to meet any fraternity- 

          CORDELIA 
          And if there was a God, don'tcha 
          think He'd keep it that way?

I'm really conflicted about this line because it's kind of funny and so Cordelia, but her grammar fail makes it not work. Keep it what way? Buffy not wanting to meet any fraternity guys? 

          BUFFY 
          Then- whatever, I don't know, might be 
          nice to find out. But you want to end it 
          before it's begun. Fine.

Alternate to the "isn't it supposed to be?" exchange. I think I prefer the aired version. 

          The others murmur "Machida" (pronounced Ma-Kee-Da).

That got me curious so I looked up Machida. Got this: "Lyoto Carvalho Machida is a Brazilian mixed martial artist from Salvador, Bahia, Brazil who fights as a light heavyweight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship." Well then.

And here's another little bit of alternate: 

          Tom comes to near the alter. And, unbeknownst to any of our heroes, the snake body begins slowly moving. Until it            joins up with the torso. A squooshy sound of flesh and protoplasm meeting and the two halves re-join! 

          CORDELIA (cont'd) 
          (to Tom) 
          You're going to jail for about fifteen 
          thousand years. Oh god, it's over, 
          it's really- 

          That's when Machida, re-joined, suddenly pops up again. 

          Angel takes a threatening step forward next to Buffy and growls. 

          Machida towers over Tom: 

          MACHIDA 
          For a hundred years I have given your forebearers 
          wealth and power. And this is how you repay me. 
          From this day forth you are alone in the world. 

          Machida slides back down. Cordelia is afraid to breathe. With good reason. Machida pops back up, grabs Tom. 

          MACHIDA (cont'd) 
          Lil' somethin' for the road. 

          Machida disappears into the pit with Tom. We hear Tom's screams, a quick couple of chomps and then silence.

Anyone's guess whether this was cut for length, or because they decided jail was better than death for the evil human, or because it turned out to be too difficult for the actor to speak in the snake costume, but I do regret missing out on Angel's threatening growl. 

          A high school freshman, a real young looking one, moves up to Cordelia, hands her a coffee and a muffin. He looks            up at her (being so much shorter and all) adoringly. 

          CORDELIA 
          Thank you, Leslie. Did we forget the 
          extra foam?

I think this is the second time that Jonathan's played a role that was some random kid in the script - how long did it take for them to figure out that he should be a regular guest star? 

          WILLOW 
          They didn't find the snake? (Xander shakes his head) 
          Which means we probably will some 
          day. Oh goody.

Or maybe this is why they changed it - they knew they'd never bring the snake back.

Notes:

• There was also a whole unaired bit at the party about Xander sneaking in under a name from the guest list. The window thing was better. ​
• I get a sincere cringe from the 'New Pledge' ritual. Hazing's bad enough as it is; I can't imagine doing it to someone you never expect to see again.

​
Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
  
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• ​Fic - Wake Up (From a Deep Sleep) and Live (Happily Ever After)

It's harder to get a review of the next episode up when the next episode isn't very good, and I think you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who ranks "Inca Mummy Girl" among their favorites. In addition to its sub-par plot and writing, it's rather a downer just because it comes right after "School Hard", when all of these elements promising us a great season are introduced. Then we get nothing - no Spike and Dru, no advancement of the season's plot. It's the first (and only) episode of Season 2 without Angel. What were they thinking?

One quick specific gripe I have to make is about the cultural portrayals, and this is actually one thing where I agree with Mark (of Mark Watches), possibly the first and last time since I started reading his reviews. The whole treatment of South America (you know, the country of South America, where they speak South American) was embarrassing. The International Dance or whatever was cringe-worthy. Sven dressed up as a viking. Vikings didn't even wear helmets with horns, did you know that? DID YOU? To be fair, this kind of event probably did happen at high schools in the 90's, so maybe we can just look at this as realism, but ugh. Someday I want to go to an event in a foreign land where they make me dress up in a historical American costume. Maybe I could be a Puritan! 

The episode does have one redeeming feature, though (aside from the usual collection of scattered funny lines and the fact that Giles exists): the introduction of Oz. I think it makes perfect sense to concentrate on that factor, no?

But first, Willow. I might have thought a little too hard about the scene with Rodney, but a couple things surprised me: first, that Willow didn't hold it against him that he used to beat up Xander, and second, that Rodney was actually really nice to her. I got the impression that there was something of a friendship between them. Not enough of one for her to spend a second mourning him, of course, but an appreciation of each other. Which is weird, right? What does a smart shy kid see in a bully? What does a troublemaker see in a genius?

On Rodney's side it's kind of sweet. On Willow's side it's a bit ominous - apparently, she cares more about a person's behavior toward herself than she does about his behavior in general, or even toward her own best friend. I could even believe that her years of frustration with Xander led her to take some conflicted pleasure at his abuse. On the other hand, ouch. That's pretty bad. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she only started liking Rodney after he reined in his bullyish tendencies.

Clearly what I'm doing here is trying to justify the drabble at the end of this post, because nobody ever commented on it and my heart is empty. Okay, no seriously though, I accept and embrace the drabble being ignored, it wasn't that interesting, but here's my thoughts in a different form: Willow and Oz have something unexpected and awesome in common, shown to us before they meet. Rodney and Devon have practically nothing going for them except a vague social coolness which manifests in Rodney as rebellion, and in Devon as shallow charm. Willow and Oz, on the other hand, are incredibly smart people with talent, courage, and individuality. Yet they don't look down on anyone. They're not too good to hang out with the morons, even when they have nothing to gain from it. 

I especially like seeing Oz and Devon interact - rather extensively, considering that they're both brand-new characters and not talking about anything related to the episode's plot - because their friendship continues for as long as Oz is in the series, though I'm pretty sure that Devon stops appearing in person. Part of it, obviously, is that they're in a band together. Part of it is that Oz himself is terminally apathetic (I'm sure I'll have a lot to say about that later, but for now, let's just acknowledge it - he's not perfect, though he comes close). But the main thing is that they're just buddies. Oz is okay with Devon being his shallow self because he doesn't need anything more than him, and he's okay being up front with his criticisms because he knows Devon respects him and deserves honesty. 

Cordelia and Boyfriends: And here's another interesting relationship square: Willow/Oz, Cordelia/Devon. We'll have to keep an eye on the latter; I don't remember how long they last, but I want to see what it is that breaks them up, since right now they're essentially perfect for each other. Oz's friend and Willow's enemy - are they too alike to make it work?

Oh shoot, I think I have more to say about Willow. Isn't this supposed to be a Xander episode? Well, that's fairly pat. He falls in love with a dead girl, it ends badly. Although, if it were happening in real life, I think I'd feel pretty bad for him - he and Ampata make a great match, even if there isn't a whole lot of reason that their feelings for each other should develop so swiftly. Aside from his insensitivity to Willow, he really wasn't even a jerk about it. 

But forget him, for the moment. Think instead of Willow in the Eskimo suit. Remove the weird high school cultural festival context. It's a great costume, and she's excited about it. Until she gets to the event, and Buffy isn't there, and Xander's only about Ampata. All alone in a parka, poor Willow.

Enter Cordelia, looking gorgeous and baring skin, and all too ready to make fun of the nerd girl who doesn't have the sense to do the same. The message is pretty damn clear: if you don't want to be alone, better learn how to attract the boys. Willow herself states it explicitly: "Maybe I should have worn something sexy."

Now, I'm divided on how this was resolved. On one hand, NO. WILLOW, NO. Be your fun, creative, parka'd self. Thank the heavens that Oz was there to back me up, stating just as explicitly that he's interested in the fun girl over the sexy girl. On the other hand, Cordy's path was ultimately the one that Willow chose. Not entirely; she never adopted the Cordette styles and obviously she wasn't seeking the attention of boys at the end. But she did learn about being cool. Her growth in confidence, I think, had less to do with finding people like Oz who appreciated her for who she was, and more to do with simply avoiding any possibility of again getting caught in an unsexy outfit at a dance. 

I think I actually had a better point to make before I wrote that down. Oh, well.

All in all, I think if you're an Inca princess who was unfairly sacrificed a thousand years ago in the prime of your youth, you still shouldn't kill people just to stay alive. Although there are a lot of other considerations to this that weren't even brought up - has she really been conscious the whole time she's been a mummy? That's horrible and someone should do something about it. Also, did she save her people by being sacrificed, or was it just one of those meaningless heathen rituals? Big difference!

The Girl Herself: Not much to say about Buffy, but I did pause for a while on the final lines, when Xander points out that she chose to give up her life when it was needed, and Buffy says "I had you to bring me back." Of course she's looking first and foremost for something to say to make her friend feel better, and this definitely fits the bill. But how does it fit into the context? Buffy and Ampata both had to make the ultimate sacrifice; Buffy was the only one who actually did it, even though she didn't want to. It's basically luck that she's alive now, but it's luck in the form of Xander. 

So, is this just an expression of gratitude to give him in exchange for his acknowledgement of her own strength? Or is it more to say that she had friends, where Ampata didn't? That actually might heighten my sympathy for the mummy. Maybe there is some truth behind it - it was easier for Buffy to give of herself, because she knew that there were others who would do the same for her, even if she didn't know that one of them would in fact nullify her own death. Ampata had no basis for learning how to be selfless.

I still don't like her though. Stay in your box, damned dead girl!

Giles and Objects: Got some for you! Now we'll have some fun!​

Okay, this episode feels sufficiently squeezed out. Here's some quotes. 

          BUFFY 
          I wasn't gonna use violence. I 
          don't always use violence. Do I? 

          XANDER 
          The important thing is, you believe 
          that. 

          BUFFY 
          I might have used reason. Or my 
          feminine wiles.

Hmm. Which one did Willow use? 

          XANDER 
          Ooh, Sunnydale bus depot. Classy. 
          What better way to say "Welcome 
          to Our Country" than with the 
          stench of urine.

Xander vs. Bus Stations - it's a thing. We'll keep track. 

           ANGLE: A MAN (PERU MAN) 

           murder in his eyes, rushes from the shadows, shrieking. Long, curved KNIFE raised. (Some people call it a huge,                   machete-like carving blade. We call it a long, curved knife.)

The first time I copied these quotes in, my post got eaten, so I'm going the half-assed route for the second time. But I thought you should have these stage directions. 

           INT. BUFFY'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT 

           Buffy and Joyce make up an extra bed. 

           BUFFY 
           You said she was staying in the study. 

           JOYCE 
           That was when we thought Ampata 
           was a boy. But since he's a girl, I 
           thought you could double up. 

            BUFFY 
            Mom, you think too much. 

            JOYCE 
            You two in a room together? Give 
            you both a chance to share secrets. 

            BUFFY 
            I'm not a big secret sharer. I like 
            my secrets. They're secret. 

            JOYCE 
           Oh, it'll be fun. 

           BUFFY 
           Fun. Yeah. 
           (smiling) 
           You know, next year I ought to sign 
           up for one of those 'exchange mom' 
           programs. 

           Joyce smiles as they finish making the bed.

Nice little Buffy and Joyce moment that we missed out on. Plus, I like the way Buffy is kind of resentful of Ampata out of her hearing, but takes care to not show it in any way that could hurt her feelings. 

            Two students, SAM and OZ - by their looks, obviously members of the band - load music and sound equipment                    into a van, which has their logo emblazoned on the side. Cordelia talks with DEVON, the band's good-looking lead                singer.

Character introductions! Hold on, there's a better one for Oz coming up. 

           There's a quiet restraint and total lack of bitterness to his sarcasm; where Devon is your typical excitable rock                       and roller,  Oz is completely unflappable. His is the kind of cool that is completely unaware of itself.

Love this guy. 

          ANGLE: XANDER AND AMPATA 

          as they enter. They're gorgeous together.

I wouldn't go that far, but Xander does look pretty spiffy in his costume.

Notes:

• The real reason Angel wasn't in this episode was that Dru had him tied up. You know how she is.
• Xander will help bring Buffy back to life the second time too, but in a bad way.
  
• I was kidding about heathen rituals being meaningless! Put down the long, curved knife!

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
  
• Read this post on LiveJournal
  
• Drabble - The Other Kind of Friendship

Shooting script quotes:

           SHEILA MARTINI (17, sexy, slovenly and somewhat dangerous)

If Spike and Dru are the good of this episode, Sheila is definitely the bad. Her lines were okay (I'll quote you a couple), but obviously she wasn't going to be developed much beyond the above description, and several of her scenes were just a train wreck of bad acting. To make matters worse, she survived. Somewhere in the Buffyverse, a slovenly teenage vampire is running around hitting on punkish guys. 

             We see his foot first, stepping out in a shitkicker steel-toed boot. As he walks in front of the car the camera ARMS                UP, revealing his punkish outfit, his long coat. As he puts a cigarette to his lips we reach his face. He looks young,                 his eyes sparkling with anarchy. He smiles as he lights the cigarette. And, oh yeah. He's a vampire. 

             This is SPIKE.

Much better! This is Spike, indeed. I wonder if this was written before he was cast - certainly it was written before his future as a long-term character was decided, which stirs up all kinds of curiosity about what was going on behind the scenes here. Anyway, I love how the description here makes me picture the moment so easily. They completely nailed it. 

             SPIKE 
             Would it kill ya', little mouthwash 
             every couple hundred years?

So glad they removed this. I have to check TVtropes to see if they have one for complaining about the bad guy's breath. It was funny the first time, like, fifty years ago. 

             DRUSILLA wanders in as he speaks, looking at everything with the quiet wonder of a child.

This is all we get for her introduction, sadly. I know she was cast before Spike, so maybe they'd already discussed her character to death and didn't need it in the script. 

           BUFFY 
           But I didn't feel good about it or 
           anything. I mean, I don't condone...
           So. We're gonna Bronze it tonight, 
           if you wanted to come. 

           SHEILA 
           I can't go there. You threaten one 
           bartender with a broken bottle and 
           they like ban you for life. 
           (snorts)

As promised, cute Sheila quotes to salvage her cruddy character. Here's another:

           SHEILA 
           Hey, illustrated man, over here.

And here's a whole scene that got cut:

           INT. THE FACTORY - NIGHT 

           Spooky. Lit by torches. Spike and Drusilla are noticeably absent. 

           Vampires are chanting, whipping themselves and each other. The Anointed One sits in the shadows. Standing near             him and speaking for him is: 

           LEAN BOY 
           Saint Vigeous, you who murdered so 
           many, we beseech you, cleans us of our 
           weaknesses: mercy, compassion and pity. 

            OTHERS 
            We will bathe in their blood. 

            The Anointed One, like a little Godfather, motions to Lean Boy who leans down close to him. 

            ANOINTED ONE 
            Where is he? 

            LEAN BOY 
            Spike? He, uh, said he doesn't go 
            for religion. 

            ANOINTED ONE 
            He should be here. 

            LEAN BOY 
            He's with the woman. He's always 
            with the woman. 

            The Anointed One looks displeased. CAMERA TRACKS PAST the ceremony, into the darker recesses of the factory. 

            LEAN BOY (cont'd) 
            (to vamps) 
            Lambs to the slaughter! 

            OTHERS 
            Bathe in their blood! 

            We discover a narrow passageway, stairs leading down.

I guess this scene was unnecessary because it's more or less repeated from Spike and Dru's POV, but for some reason reading it made the whole vampire succession dilemma clearer for me. The traditionalists aren't happy about Spike's way of doing things. Spike doesn't go for religion. Spike is "always with the woman". This is an upheaval in progress, not just of the vampires' lifestyle, but of the entire show. 

          WILLOW 
          Do you think Sheila will show? 

          BUFFY 
          I doubt it. She doesn't seem to care 
          about getting kicked out - about 
          anything. I sort of envy that. 

          WILLOW 
          I don't think she's very happy.

Nothing too deep but I was kind of interested in the way Willow's view of Sheila just kind of hangs there. Like she wants Buffy to know that caring about stuff will help her in the long run, but doesn't want to mention it directly.

           XANDER 
           The important thing in punch is the 
           ratio of Vodka to Schnapps. 
           (off looks) 
           That was obviously far too 
           sophisticated a joke for this crowd.

Or this one, apparently, since the line was cut out... 

           Willow grabs the heavy bust of Flutie, clocks him with it, they cut left, down the SOUTH HALL.

There was a bust of FLUTIE? Did anyone know that? I did not know that. 

           DRUSILLA 
           Did she hurt you? 

           Is that just a little pleasure at that question?

Ooh, intriguing. If it's mentioned at all, the answer is yes. So right from the beginning, Dru likes seeing Spike in pain. Is this typical vampire S&M stuff, or is it a hint about their relationship crumbling in the future? 

Notes:

• I've always thought that Spike's speech in this episode (and possibly the next few) had a musical quality to it that he lost later on. In a recent interview with Marsters I learned that this was just the result of him not quite having his English accent down yet. I was crushed.
• Regarding the Anne Rice routine: Angel's said to be a ripoff of Louis, but as far as I know, Louis never returned to humanity. It would have been hard to pity him, even as a reader.
• The first we hear about Dru's visions is that it's dark where the Slayer is - an uncertain future, apparently, which I like. It would have been easy enough to give her some vague proclamation which didn't give away plot points but still came true, but it's better this way. Nobody has a clue what's coming.
• The dialogue between Giles and Jenny is beautiful. She comes across as exactly as intelligent as he is, though in a different way, like Willow. She doesn't usually get listed as one of the big brains, but I think there's evidence that she is one.
• Looked up the lyrics to "Stupid Thing". No hidden secrets. Tolerable song but rather boring.
• Willow, your job here is not to conceal the lemonade error! What if someone important had tasted it and expelled Buffy?!

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• Fic - The Third Defenestration of Prague

In which I talk about love stories a lot. If that sounds too much like it's going to just be a wall of text (83% probability, tbh), here's a handy-dandy visual guide to who loves who in Sunnydale at this point in S2. ​

I have this weird thing for the way Giles puts down American culture whenever he has an opening. As an American myself, I secretly believe that all citizens of other countries secretly believe that the US is the best one, with the only exceptions being those who openly admit it.* The friendly banter that ensues when someone tries to deny our inherent superiority always tickles me, because it highlights all the little idiosyncrasies that give everyone a cultural identity. I think that, on the whole, Giles does appreciate a lot about America, but he'll never feel like it's home, and he knows he doesn't have to, and he knows he can get away with saying so.

Cordelia and Boyfriends: One of them died before the show even began. 

Willow and Connections: Does it seem like there are a lot of math/science genius boys at Sunnydale High? And Willow has an acquaintance with all of them? And then they die or turn out to be evil? Actually, what happened to Chris after this? And Eric, didn't he survive too? Why couldn't one of them be used to round out the Trio in S6, instead of introducing Andrew?

This was never one of my favorite episodes in spite of its very special B/A moments - there's too much football and cheerleading, and dead people. Undead I love, walking dead takes a certain kind of format to work, but reanimated dead? Gross without any real fear factor to justify it. 

Of course we're asked to look past the embarrassing Frankenstein stage makeup and embarrassing repetitions of "Go team go!" and find the metaphor to ponder, so let's see if I can talk about that at all before my mind wanders. (I was just thinking about giraffes.) Dealing with the literal level first, the lessons are as follows: don't bring the dead back to life, and you can't make a girl. And for me the most remarkable thing is that those exact lessons are repeated in later episodes, though I don't think it's ever both at the same time again.

Why not bring the dead back to life? Well, they come back wrong. Daryl came back wrong. It's not just that he's gross, it's that he doesn't understand what others know inherently, i.e., you can't make a girl. Maybe it's sloppy acting or maybe he really was just a douche before he died, but I don't think we're supposed to believe this Daryl resembles the old Daryl much. It's not about magic having consequences this time because the deed was done with science (hahaha, an electric surge + an adrenaline boost, that's right Willow, you big brain you), but the issue is essentially the same. Granting life is overstepping your bounds just as much as taking it is.

Why not make a girl? Actually, what got me wondering about the scheme was why they had to assemble a girl out of pieces, when Daryl was apparently just Daryl. The bodies were all damaged in the car accident, right? I wish someone had brought up the possibility of ditching the stitched-together body when they got Cordelia, and just using her own body as well as her head. Doesn't it seem like it would be easiest to kill her and them immediately revive her? What I guess I'm getting at here is - did they need to wipe away some integral part of Cordelia to make her a suitable match for Daryl? One can only assume that the map of her memories and personality would be stored in her brain, so she'd still be herself-ish without her own body. Would she be moreherself if her head was never severed from her nervous system? Would that make her too likely to freak out and reject Daryl as her mate? Is it harder to control a girl's body than her mind, and is that why you can't make your own?

No quotes from the shooting script this time. There were very few differences from the aired versions, and no particularly interesting stage directions. One thing I noticed, though, was the line in which Buffy tells Chris that she knows what it's like to lose someone - she said just the opposite in the shooting script: 

          BUFFY (cont'd) 
          Listen, I don't know what it's like 
          to lose someone close to you like 
          your brother, but I know what you're 
          trying to do is wrong.

I wonder if this was setting the stage for "Killed by Death"? I can't think of anyone but her cousin that Buffy has already lost at this point. 

Notes:

• I was kidding about America being superior! Put down the cricket bat!

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• Fic - Fox Hunt

Giles is wise and good and perfect and I love him and his bi-color eyes and his books. He does not like his soda. Everyone goes to him for help and advice. He is like totally into Miss Calendar and she's into him.

I have a hard time appreciating the drama of the scene where Buffy smashes the Master's skeletons, because I'm too busy waiting to see how much of it rebuilds between shots.

Also, betcha anything that Giles is watching this spectacle thinking, "Why didn't we just do this in the first place?"

Shooting script quotes! 

          JENNY 
         (flirtatiously) 
         Depends on the book.

She is really good at saying completely innocuous things flirtatiously. 

          HANK 
          I may have been overcompensating a little. 
          It was strange. At least when she was burning 
          stuff down I knew what to say. As for 
          example, 'don't burn stuff down'. But now...

Okay, that last part actually clarifies a lot, and should have been left in. 

          BUFFY 
          Local talent. Fresh. He was still wearing his 
          funeral ensemble. 

          GILES 
          Which means there are other vampires 
          about, and they're already killing. I 
          should have been on top of that. 
          I wonder if they're here for some 
          particular purpose...

See these are good lines. It didn't occur to me to think like that - if a vamp is newly risen, there's an older one around. That's why Giles is the Watcher and we just work here! 

          GILES (cont'd) 
          She may simply have what you Americans 
          refer to as 'issues'.

Maybe, but we refer to them as "ishoos". Try to temper your funky UK phonetic pronunciation thing, Giles. 

          A group of vampires, including TARA (girl vampire) stands on the balconies and rafters, listening to someone on the            floor below.

Ha! Did anyone know that? Sort of like Jenny's name was Nikki. 

           ABSALOM 
           For the Old Ones, for his pain. For 
           the Dark.

Old Ones! 

           GILES 
           Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admit, but 
           believe me, that was hardly the worst 
           mistake you'll ever make. 
           (a beat) 
           That wasn't nearly as comforting as it 
           was meant to be.

But it was truuuue. 

          ANGLE: XANDER 

          Watches Angel hold her, silently. PAN OVER to find Willow watching Xander with much the same emotion. 

I missed this until I knew to look for it, but, wow. Way to put the triangle in a nutshell. (It's not really a triangle, but I don't know what else to call it.) 
​
Notes:

• Buffy's still sleeping on a crocheted pillow. WHY.
• I kinda like the Cibo Matto song! And it works really well in the scene.
• The vamp extras are named Vampire Bob, Vampire Jane, Vampire Walt, and Vampire Ned.
• I read Absalom, Absalom! in college. Even did a presentation on it. Don't remember a word of the book or what I said about it. Screw you, Faulkner.
• I've never been to Burning Man, but I've heard about it from those who have, and if I felt confident in my ability to survive it, it would probably be a dream of mine to go. Giles maybe not so much, but I love it that Jenny loved it.

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• Fic - Victor's Burden

And here's some quotes from the shooting script. 

          Which is when the hail of pebbles starts. 

         The first few get Buffy's attention, tiny hard pellets hitting the ground around her. She stands as more start coming             down. 

        People -- including Buffy -- all run for cover as the real shower starts. Buffy stands under the archway, watching the             hail come down. 

         ANGLE: XANDER 

         Walking away, not near Buffy. He hears: 

         STUDENT (O.S.) 
         Check it out! It's raining 
         stones! 

         Xander looks back over his shoulder. 

         XANDER 
         Figures. 

         And turns and goes.

Not a terribly pointy scene, but Xander's reaction actually did make me kinda grin. 

There's nothing here that we don't get somewhere else, sooner or later, but I would have liked to see it, especially Angel's trace of fear regarding the Master. And "He doesn't like you anymore" provides such a tantalizing hint about their history. Also, just the idea of a scene which doesn't consist of anything beyond "the Anointed One stops by to threaten Angel" makes me wonder. Is Angel enough of a danger to Team Master that they want to get him out of the way before the big event? 

          WILLOW 
          Well, how can we help her? 

          MS. CALENDAR 
          I'm sorry to bring this up but 
          we've also got an apocalypse to 
          worry about. 

          XANDER 
          Do you mind? 

          WILLOW 
          (re: Calendar) 
          How come she's in the club? 

          MS. CALENDAR 
          Hey, once the Master gets free, the 
          Hellmouth opens. The demons come 
          to party and everybody dies. We 
          have to prepare. Rupert, you know 
          I'm right. 

This kind of thing happens in the series a few times, doesn't it? That is, the conflict between "save the world" and "save our friend". Makes me think of Buffy's prioritization of Dawn in "The Gift", but in mini. 

          MS. CALENDAR 
          How big is a Hellmouth, anyway? 

          GILES 
          I don't know. Hellmouth-sized. 

Aww, you guys. 

          Xander pulls out a stake and his cross. He tosses the cross to Angel -- 

          ANGEL 
         Ooh! Ow! Hot! 

         -- who baubles it and tosses it back. Xander tosses him the stake instead. 

         XANDER 
         Sorry. 

Doofy but cute. 

         GILES 
         I don't know about the rest of you, 
         but I'd really like to get out of 
         this library. I hate it here.

Changed in the aired version to "I don't like libraries much anymore" (or something like that? it was really hard to hear), but either way, kind of a funny sentiment. That didn't last long. 
​
Notes:

• Holy crap, the country music Xander chooses is "I Fall to Pieces". Gross!
• Angel's "I like your dress" isn't in the shooting script. Good addition! 
• Why did the vampires want to be at the library for the opening of the Hellmouth? Do they derive some kind of energy from their proximity to it? Is it a Hellmouth shower? Are all the best sales on opening day?

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• Drabble - Serpent Fantastico
• Fan art - Scoobies Victorious

​

Xander and Bus Stations: I haven't said anything about Xander in this episode, and I can't really think of anything there is to say. If there was an example of him being ignored, I missed it, though that isn't to say he doesn't get as lonely as the others. There could be some insight hiding in his reactions to Cordelia, but I think for the most part, this just isn't Xander's moment.

And now it's time for the clipping of quotes from the shooting script which you may have come to expect from me. The good news is that from now on I'm going to make a conscious effort to not point out the spelling errors. 

          MITCH 
          Ew, libraries. All those books. 
          What's up with that? 

          With a few chuckles, the crowd disperses. 

          CORDELIA 
          (to Mitch as they leave) 
          Did I ever tell you about when 
          Buffy attacked me? With a spear 
          when I came out of the ladies' at 
          the Bronze. I still re-live the 
          trauma every time I see a pencil. 
          I can only use felt-tip now... 

Just a bit of extra jerkishness that was left out, but I found it odd that Cordy thinks of a stake as both a spear and a pencil, and doesn't see any discrepancy there. 

          BUFFY 
          Giles, have you ever touched a 
          ghost? 

          GILES 
          No I haven't. I've seen one, in 
          Dartmoor. A murdered countess, 
          very beautiful. She used to float 
          along the foothills, moaning the 
          most piteous -- I've gone away 
          again, haven't I? 

          WILLOW 
          It's funny when he does that. 

Giles history! Oh, I'd love to hear about him and his lovely ghost. 

           It's music. A flute. Ghostly. Playing somewhere in the bowels of the school. Buffy just listens, affected by it. It's                     about the saddest, loneliest song she's ever heard. 

This and a few other lines from the shooting script made me feel like Marcie's plight wasn't fully emphasized in the episode as it aired. I think there was a wrong turn somewhere in the way Marcie went mad - there weren't any real signs of her descent, it was just lonely, lonely, homicidal. 

         GILES
         ...But the most 
         important books of Slayer prophecy 
         have been lost. The Tiberius 
         Manifesto, the Pergamum Codex. 

         ANGEL 
         The Codex. 

         GILES 
         It was reputed to contain the most 
         complete prophecies about the 
         Slayer's role in the End Times. 
         But the book was lost in the 15th 
         century. 

         ANGEL 
         Not lost. Misplaced. I can get 
         it. 

Okay, I'm quoting this partially to hang onto the precious little info we get about Slayer prophecies and the Codex (Angel can just "get it"? What's the story there?), but because there's about a half second of character development in there that I really loved. When Angel finds that he can get something Giles needs, he gives us this little-boy smile, too quickly to screencap - after everything he's been through, it excites him just to be useful. 

         XANDER 
         But people perceived the whole 
         Marcie package as invisible, 
         clothes and all, not just, you 
         know... 
         (what's bothering him) 
         So you're saying she's not naked.

Yeah, that's always on my mind with invisible characters, too. Invisible Woman (of the Fantastic Four) can make things invisible by touching them; isn't that the most sensible solution? 

          CORDELIA 
          Well, just because the story's 
          about him doesn't mean he's 
          necessarily the hero, right?

Thanks, Cordy! That can be applied to at least half of everything written by Joss. 
 
          GILES 
          I mean apparently gift as a 
          researcher is limited to 
          supernatural rather than quantum 
          phenomena. All these state 
          functions, observables... 
          Mathematics was never my strength.

Is Giles telling the truth here? It seems to contradict what we've seen already in "The Puppet Show", but on the other hand, we never see him doing much math. That's Willow's thing. On the other other hand, it seems odd for Giles to have any intellectual weakness. 

          Strange Men in Black (AGENTS DOYLE and MANETTI and two others) arrive on opposite sides of the stage.

WAIT WAIT AGENT WHO???

Notes:

• Yeah, I like the Codex more than most people, what of it?
• This is what the stage directions tell us for her first actual physical appearance: A GIRL (MARCIE) -- so mousy she’s the human equivalent of wallpaper, but actually the actress is adorable and I like her voice. Anyone seen her in anything else? 
• The lolcat jokes work better for some invisible scenes than others. Just try to picture the captions on your screen while you watch the episode. 

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• Drabble - The Secret Cult of Marcie Ross

Along with "Angel" and "Prophecy Girl", I think "Nightmares" is one of the little gems of the first season, at the least showing what the show can (and will) be. Definitely the best S1 episode in which Angel doesn't make an appearance, no?

I'm sure there are larger themes at work with a plot like this, but I don't really concern myself with those. Lol no actually I'm just saying that my favorite part is just the dreams themselves. They're chosen well and portrayed well, and a couple of them did make me think.

They made Noel Murray of the A.V. Club think too, and I'm going to quote him on that because I didn't come up with this nifty analysis: "In one of the scenarios, The Master riffs on Disney by chirping 'a dream is a wish your heart makes,' and that line isn't just a joke. It's possible that Willow craves attention as much as she fears it, and that Xander really likes looking exposed and vulnerable in front of the whole school, and that Buffy would rather her parents and friends see her as a bad seed instead of a troubled savior." Oh man! That's totally true! And moreover, you can follow it into an early expression of Buffy's death wish - I don't put a whole lot of stock into that, but given the insurmountable impossibility of Buffy's mission and the way it was forced onto her, it's not a stretch to see that she might sometimes have an inkling that she'd be better off dead.

The Buffy Show: Probably not an inkling (at this point) that she'd be better off a vampire, but who knows? Also, I read a fic once that filled in some gaps by inserting Angel into the episode - just as Giles' fear of his Slayer's death segued into her own fear of being turned, it was Angel's nightmare that kicked off the sequence by being the one to sire her. Isn't that great? It's canon in my head.

Everyone Else: Every time the Scoobies have a nice casual chat with another high school kid, I kind of wish the kid would stick around and chat with them in some other episodes. I liked Wendell. Well, until the spider talk. Nobody should like him after that. But notice he also got the wish his heart made - he got his spiders back! I mean, he didn't really think they were punishing him for their deaths, did he? All they did was crawl playfully about him. Was he seeing accusation in their beady little eyes? That must have been it. Whoa, and spiders have four times as many eyes as humans; that's four hundred percent accusation.

Buffy's nightmare about her father, while well played, only really affected me in one way: it eventually comes true. I feel like the show could have fit in a little more drama about the deadbeat dad story, and I assume that it was the availability of the actor that prevented it, but mostly, thinking about Hank Summers just makes me angry at Hank Summers. I'm sure he didn't deliberately step out of his daughters' life because of Buffy's misbehavior, but his absence, barring some kind of crisis we never heard about, indicates something much worse: apathy. During the hardest times in their lives, Buffy and Dawn had to deal with knowing that their father just didn't care enough to come help them out when they needed him. If only Season 6 could have been revealed as a nightmare.

Speaking of fathers! That little slice of trauma incidentally provides a nice backdrop for Buffy's developing relationship with Giles. Before my rewatch I had more or less forgotten about his discovery of Buffy's grave and reaction to it:

          GILES 
          I failed in my duty to protect you... 
          (beat) 
          I should have been more cautious, 
          taken more time with your training... 
          but you were so gifted and the evil 
          was so great.

It's suddenly become my favorite line of S1. (Okay, it's still in battle with "I wanted to kill you today", but never mind that.) There's so much going on here - not just Giles' paternal affection for his Slayer and his grief at losing her, but the fundamental conflict of his job. He needs to protect her but can't do it by keeping her away from the fight; the fight is inherently part of her. He can train her to protect herself, but he can't rush it even knowing that she needs to be trained already.

The worst part is that he has such good reasons for throwing her into mortal peril. One is that she's so gifted: to hold her back from her full potential would be to demean her. She wants to be saving the world now, and she's capable, and she knows it. How could he possibly tell her to take it easy?

And the evil is so great. The Slayer isn't a Slayer for the sake of the Slayer. She's here because the world needs her. Giles, in turn, is needed to wield her as a weapon, knowing how wrong that is, knowing he has to do it anyway for the lives at stake.

He'll spend the rest of the series struggling with the internal division, and the shame, of being Buffy's Watcher. This may be the only time we hear him put it into words. Yeah, this episode belongs to Giles.

I think that's mostly what I wanted to say, but here's a bit of fun from the shooting scripts:

           He looks at her with a kind of remorse calm. The light seems to hand strangely on him, but he looks perfectly                       normal otherwise.

The phrase "remorse calm" is irritating me. Let's change it to "calm remorse" or "remorseful calm", okay? Also I could never quite tell if the light was landing strangely on him. Probably not. 

          BUFFY 
          Thanks. And Mom, don't worry, I'm over 
          the divorce. I officially release you from all guilt. 

          JOYCE 
          That's not what I was getting at- 
          you feel like putting that in writing?

Awwww.
 
          XANDER 
          Probably be faster if we spilt up to look 
          for her. 

          GILES 
          Good idea. 

          Giles heads one way, Xander the other. Leaving Willow standing there alone. Beat. 

          WILLOW 
          Faster, but not really safer.

Sounds like Giles needs some time in the Cabin in the Woods. 

Also, there's a scene where Xander can't remember the lesson yesterday; Buffy reminds him that the (hot) teacher was wearing a tight sweater, to which he responds, "The midnight blue Angora!" Later, the stage directions give us this: He looks from his naked self to the class (including Ms. Tishler in Angora if she works that day.)

Notes:

• The kid playing Billy is such a cute little muffin. Or maybe I just always think that about TV kids who aren't playing deliberately cute roles. Anyway, do I recognize that actor?
• First Billy of the series. We may want to start keeping a list.
• Actually, I never really found the Anointed One cute, so scratch what I said in the first note.
• Astral projection is mentioned for the first time. Isn't it kind of odd that Willow didn't master it until she was permanently off the screen? Seems like it would be a much cheaper effect than flying.
• I always felt like they shot too low when they gave Giles a definite number for the languages he knows. I know, language isn't his specialty, but given the use of certain languages in spells, not to mention the Watcher's access to demon languages, it just seems like a big brain like his would have picked up more than five. 
• One thing I don't like about the resolution in this episode is the Little League coach as the villain. It just doesn't sound legit to me that an otherwise normal person would beat up a child for failing to perform in a game. If he's as psychotic as he'd have to be for this scenario, it would have shown up in other ways. It kind of sounds like they wanted an abusive parent to fill this role in the plot, but didn't have the guts to incorporate a real-world tragic issue like that yet.
• Spotted another one of those conversations where one character/extra is talking and the other is conspicuously silent. It's just funny to me now; I can't help it.
• Why were there chocolate bars in Xander's clown dream, anyway?
• Oh yeah, and I do have a clown fear - I think most of us probably do to some degree - but that one didn't really do much for me. In fact, I can't recall anything particularly scary about this issue. Too bad!
• Did Buffy have a soul as a nightmare vamp? PONDER.
• Never noticed this - Xander knows what it's like to be attracted to a vampire. Hey hypocrite! Rant about Buffy's taste in men a little more, why don't you!

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal
• Drabble - Arachnomancery
• Drabble - Lost in the Stacks

 I was hoping to establish a pattern here with writing a drabble or some cute little story - or at least having an old one on hand - for each episode. I haven't done that this time, because when I sat down and scrolled through the script with the episode playing in a miniature window beside it, I realized I had absolutely no inspiration to write. So I decided to skip that part, and then I realized I had absolutely nothing to say about the episode.

Noel Murray can explain it better than me: 'That said, here's the real problem with "Puppet Show:" It has nothing to offer beyond a few laughs and a few shocks. Even the relatively weak monster-of-the-week episodes from earlier in the season sported themes worth exploring. "Puppet Show" really doesn't--it's pretty straightforward.' 

On the other hand, there are a lot of goodies in the shooting script - it's very different from the episode as it ran - so I'm just going to pick them out and reply to them instead of coming up with a review of my own. Good thing I never promised you anything!

          They get up and see that PRINCIPAL MILLER is there. In years and schools past, he has ruled with unwavering                        confidence and was able, despite his size and appearance, to strike fear and respect into his students. But that was            then and this is Sunnydale.

Hey, that's not Snyder! More importantly, that's not Snyder. Much like Owen from "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date", revisions have given him a real personality, and it's not what you see here. I love that. Who knows what the story of it was, but I like to think it had something to do with the casting, because Armin Whatshisname owned this role.

          Cordelia stands on stage, holding a mic, passionately but quietly selling her song.

          CORDELIA
          ‘Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
          A little too ironic. Oh, yeah, I really do think.'

          GILES
          (cutting her off)
          Okay, thank you.

          CORDELIA
          Wait, I'm about to
          scream about the rain.

GET OUT. Okay, was anyone else old enough and geographically situated to remember when this song came out? It wasn't Alanis Morrisette's first hit, but for some reason it saturated the airwaves until it was playing in your head the moment you woke up every morning. Apparently, everyone loved it or something, which makes little sense because it was a terrible song that has become no less annoying with age. (I'm not anti-Alanis, either! She's actually a really great singer! I don't know what happened with this one!)

But I personally never met the people who apparently loved it, because whenever the song played or was mentioned in any way, the only thing anyone could ever talk about was how pissed they were that she was misusing the word "ironic". This was understandable, since she was, and she repeated it over, and over, and over again, which oodles of incorrect examples. Being pissed once or twice wasn't enough, though. You had to prove that you knew the correct definition of the word, and that meant a lot of complaining. It wasn't long before "none of those things are even ironic!" became the new "Ironic"...which is a little...wait for it...hey, does someone else want to say it? I don't think I can.

Years after the radio took mercy on us and decreased the frequency of Morrisette airtime, I reunited with my friends of those days to celebrate a wedding. As we prepared at the bride's house that morning, it was raining. "Some would call this ironic," I said, "but we know better." Nobody had to ask what I meant.

Whoever decided to replace that with "The Greatest Love of All" for Cordy was a total spoilsport. 

          MR MILLER
          By the way, thanks for steering this
          talent show ship. I owe you a debt of gratitude.

          He flips Giles a quarter.

          MR MILLER
          Debt paid.
          (laughing)
          I love that gag.
          (then)
          But seriously, thanks.

They're both jerks - I think the big difference between Miller and Snyder is a sense of humor.

          BUFFY
          Who found the body?

          GILES
          The custodian. She was cleaning the locker room--

          BUFFY
          They clean this place?

Hehe.

          XANDER
          How jaded has our school become when
          you don't even get the day off after a brutal
          murder? I bet most other places, that's an
          automatic. But no! We forge on.

I'd like to see someone figure out how many days off that would have been for the three years we watched Sunnydale High. Oh, wait. Did "The Wish" do that?

          GILES
          Unfortunately, Morgan may have gone
          one step further into the harvesting of
          human organs under the misguided belief
          that this will bring his puppet to life.
          The Geppeto Complex, if you will.

          XANDER
          Do you actually know this stuff,
          or do you make it up as you go along?

          GILES
          It is fun, isn't it?

Every time I think I can't love Giles any more...

          A stream of water DRIBBLES onto her arm. She looks up and realizes her weapon is a mop and her victim is a                      JANITOR.

          BUFFY
          You're not following me.
          You're mopping. And I'm sorry.

          He is speechless (and paid as such). Buffy helps him up and cowers away.

I gather that a single line of dialogue will boost an actor's paycheck to an entirely different field of budget. It's interesting to notice the moments when you expect someone to speak and they don't - also to see the reasoning for it stated so openly by the writers. A lot of these scripts have a streak of mischief in the stage directions, occasionally even a little bit of spite. Behold:

          EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - THE NEXT MORNING

          Another day begins at our favorite school.

          SHERYL CROW walks by. Buffy kills her.

I'm not kidding. That's what it says. 

Of course this is before we had Edward for Buffy to kill in our daydreams...

          BUFFY
          Hey, Mr. Producer. How goes the talent biz?

          GILES
          You know, a few days ago,
          I would have rather bathed
          with a Gila monster than taken
          on this task.

          BUFFY
          Then you should speak up next time.

          GILES
          But it's become refreshing.
          You and I deal with so much
          darkness and death. The stage
          is an escape. It's like another world.

This looks like a theme that was more or less cut out of the final draft, but I like the idea of Giles gradually warming to his task, and already seeking an escape from the violence of his real job.

Oh, another pop culture tidbit: one of the talent show extras is designated as CARROT-TOP WANNABE. Remember Carrot Top? No? Thank your lucky stars.

          GILES
          Cordelia, there's no ‘I' in ‘talent show.'

          CORDELIA
          There's a big one in ‘Cordelia.'

:)

          XANDER
          Things did seem pretty written on Morgan's shirt.

          BUFFY
          Or maybe suspecting him
          was just the easiest thing to do.

          WILLOW
          Buffy, we all thought he was psycho.
          Everyone in the talent show told us a
          different story about how weird he was.

          XANDER
          Yeah. You see a kid, you see a dummy,
          you see the dummy whisper in the kid's
          ear, you think crazy kid

          BUFFY
          Maybe so, but... you know how
          people look at the three of us?

         WILLOW
         Oh, yeah.

         BUFFY
         That look that says they're seeing
         someone who's different, not like
         them, and it scares them? I could
         live forever without seeing that
         again. But I think it's the exact same
         look we used to give Morgan. We never
         even gave him a chance.

Another abandoned theme. Granted, this doesn't blend into the characterization of the Scoobies that easily. When Buffy feels like an outcast, it's usually fairly subtle, and there isn't a lot of "us" about the three of them yet - they're just three individuals who happen to hang out a lot. 

But it's all too real for one misfit to treat another misfit like a misfit. People get comfortable in one aspect of life and lose their ability to see other people struggling with the same aspect. Especially at this age.

         GILES
         I never thought I'd say these
         words, but Xander may be right.

         XANDER
         I'll expect a formal letter
         of apology in the morning.

         GILES
         The dummy has a mind of its own.

         XANDER
         Hey!

         BUFFY
         He means Sid.

         XANDER
         He means Sid.

If this had stayed in the dialogue, I would make a Xander icon that said "The dummy has a mind of its own."

          BUFFY
          Yeah, well, I kind of played the
          stereotype against you, too.

          SID
          You thought I was an evil puppet.

          BUFFY
          No, I thought you were a lifeless piece of wood.

See, the jokes are pretty good. It's a decent piece of writing. It's just got no heart, if you know what I mean.

          Xander and Willow are there looking for some props. Willow sees something on a shelf and reaches for it.

          WILLOW
          Hey, that scarf would be perfect.

          The lights go out and the door SLAMS shut. It's PITCH BLACK.

           WILLOW
           Okay. Ha-ha, Xander. You got me. Turn on the light.

           No response.

           WILLOW
           You know, jokes like this aren't very
           funny, what with this school being on
           a Hellmouth and all.

          Again nothing.

          WILLOW
          Xander?

          Suddenly, A FACE APPEARS an inch from Willow's, illuminated from below by a beam of light. She SCREAMS--

          WILLOW
          Ahhh!

          --then sees it's Xander, holding a flashlight to his face.

          XANDER
          Actually, being on a Hellmouth and
          all makes this kind of thing even funnier.

This totally would have gotten me.

          GILES
          I must say to all of you, your timing
          is impeccable. Xander, I could kiss you.

          XANDER
          Unnecessary. And kind of icky.

Icky?

A couple other differences - the Scoobies performed "A Streetcar Named Desire" instead of "Oedipus Rex" (and without the awesome timing), and Buffy kept the Sid dummy. 

          BUFFY
          I don't know. It's just, after everything
          we've been through, I thought I'd hang
          on to him for a while. As sort of a reminder.

          XANDER
          Of what?

          Buffy puts Sid in her locker.

          BUFFY
          That I'm not the only one.

Dummies freak me out too. Buffy may have shed her bias through this experience; mine remains, and I am sincerely glad that Sid in Buffy's locker is not canon.

Random notes:

• Snyder vs. Giles is fascinating. For the other main characters he's just an antagonist, but with Giles it's Adult vs. Adult, possibly the first time we've seen that dichotomy in this show.
• Sid is another MotW who has a lot in common with Ultron. No strings!
  
• As I explained up top, I didn't write a drabble or anything for this one. In fact, I wrote this review a few years ago and still don't have anything to add to it. What a crap episode, huh.
• Come to think of it, I'm probably missing a couple of good Giles and Objects moments, but I just can't do it.

Links:

• The Watcher's Diary
• Read this post on LiveJournal